Welcome, wholesome friends. I am back. I’ve always been here but I’ve been in another dimension. It’s been an experience.
Let me explain. I have moved to Toowoomba and I have been without internet for a month. This was not a welcomed situation. It was just a situation. I did not handle it with the grace and humility I should have or could have. I called my internet provider 21 + times. I’m not even kidding. I’d sit down every morning after dropping Malcolm off at work, with a tea, and call my dearly beloved pals at Belong. It’s an unfortunate situation but I realised something – all of the employee’s of Belong are the raddest people I’ve ever encountered via a call centre. I feel like I’m pals without about half of the building. Mad shout out to the technical team at Belong Gold Coast centre, especially you Mia (she requested a shout out haha I’m not even kidding).
I’ve had so many grand thoughts while I’ve been missing online but I just didn’t feel I had the capacity to express them. When I get a really good brain thought I must jump online and process the thoughts through writing them out. If I don’t do this the moment is gone and they’ll probably never make it to your eyes processing the words in to your beautiful brain.
Confession: I don’t miss being online.
This has been my third month without internet. So I’m at a 3/8 months of this year without internet. What’s that? Like a third of the year. It truly is amazing once you let go of the expectation that you can jump online and access any information at the touch of a button. I mean… I’ve still had internet on my phone but it’s just not the same. I’ve really enjoyed it! When you have internet you mindlessly consume information and you don’t even realise it. It just happens. But when you have 5gb a month on a phone plan you reeeeallllyyyy think about what you’re going to use it on. And it makes you realise some things. All I’ve accessed since I haven’t had internet are yoga videos, instagram and facebook messenger. And pinterest because I’ve had so much time to cook up a storm!
Having no internet has also changed my music preferences! I haven’t had spotify so I’ve been tuning in to Triple J. I’m absolutely loving Vera Blue at the moment.
I’ve actually been listening to lots of podcasts because I’ve been driving back and forth from Brisbane and Malcolm and I don’t agree on music at all. Michelle Phetasy was speaking about how social media has turned us in to a brand, whether we realise or not. You upload your lifestyle, your preferences, your hobbies, what you support. And something big to come out of that is you never have to see/experience things not suited to you. As in… the internet is soooo smart that ads are tailored to you, your social media accounts are all lifestyles and opinions and views you agree with, your music is tailored to you and you’ve made all your own playlists. We think the internet makes us more worldly but really maybe it just gives us a limited view of what is out there. I really have felt this with music! No tailored playlists! No “highway driving and good sunsets” spotify playlist for me. But my world has been opened up to so much new music on the radio! And I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it! I’d never choose this for myself, but turns out it’s been refreshing.
I’ve also been reading a lot. Nothing new there HAHAHA. But I’ve been reading Women Who Run with Wolves or whatever it’s called. The author makes so many amazing points but once that is super relevant to the internet is that we never get a moment to be bored in this day and age. If we feel a tinge of boredom we pick up our knows as a reflex and scroll and scroll and scroll. But there’s no such thing as boredom – it’s a restorative time to relax and reflect. When you’re bored what do you typically do? Sit there and daydream/think/reflect/talk to yourself. We don’t do that any more. We never sit down with ourselves and ask what we really want, are we happy with where we are, what are we grateful for in a day. It’s just constant go, go, go being bombarded with pictures and words and we don’t even ask for it or seek it out! I really think that’s something to ponder. If we put our phones down when we felt “bored” and instead sat there with ourselves for 20 minutes we’d discover a lot about ourselves. I feel like most of the time I’m procrastinating online I’m just running from myself. Running from my thoughts, my feelings, my inner soul. We lack conversations with our soul when we don’t give ourselves time to look inward.
So having that revelation has made me try to look inward more. Whenever I randomly decide I need a new item or I want to do something I think “is this what I really need or is it what I think will cover up the pain/anxiety/confusion I am feeling?” And fuck it’s making a difference in my life. Looking at the underlying thoughts and feelings around my decision making patterns is just mind-blowing! Most of my actions in regards to jobs/career/money making is made around the feeling of fear. I avoid facing my inner soul which has always enjoyed and been in love with certain things. If I were to face those fears I’d be super vulnerable – which is never a good feeling. I’m trying to go beyond the fear and explore what I truly desire. It feels amazing.
Okay, so the grand question. What have I actually been doing since I’ve been gone?
– Drinking tea
– Discovering aeropress coffee and re-introducing addiction back in to my life lmfao coconut iced coffee’s will always have my heart, who am I to deny such happiness?
– Toowoomba has the most resourceful library I’ve ever experienced so I wander the shelves picturing myself reading every single book in a state of bliss
– There is a second range crossing being built so Malcolm and I often cross the road which shows the valley and you can see the works going ahead. It’s a really lovely view.
– Almost every afternoon Bindi and I pick Malcolm up from work and we go to the Queen’s park dog park. Let me enlighten you dear one – Queens Park is the best ever park in the city centre which also houses the botanical gardens and is filled with joy and wonderment
– Delivering pizza HAHAHA I got a job as a pizza delivery driver and I don’t particularly enjoy it but I only work 8 hours a week and that’s more money than I’ve ever seen all year so it’s a good trade-off
– Getting lost in Grand Central shopping centre/losing my car in the carpark of Grand Central
– Basking in the views of the Western sunsets – nothing can actually compare
– Feeding my Pinterest addiction. Okay I’ve never known but Pinterest holds the best of the best recipes and I’m thoroughly enjoying cooking all this gourmet food that I’d never google a recipe for but see on Pinterest and make
– Vlogging – I’ve been vlogging my life on instagram stories, I really want to explore this more and on a better platform
– Enjoying all the fucking flowers the flower city has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every road island, round about, ANYTHING is just a platform to plant a fuck tonne of colourful flowers in these intricate patterns that just make my soul sing when I see them!!!
– Op-shopping. Toowoomba has the cheapest and best op-shops ever with the kindest old ladies who work at them and want to chat and tell you how good you’ll look in said outfit you’re holding
– Taking pictures of all the scenery!!! My instagram as turnt hunnit since I’ve been here
– Gardening! I have a massive amount of outdoor plants that kind of went a lil bad when we moved because the removalists put them in the sun. So they’ve all been in plant hospital with Codii as nurse and I just feel so happy everyday when I wake up and see they are improving
– Obtaining house plants. This house is decked out with house plants. I never knew the joy waking up to a bedroom of plants could bring you but WOW
– Composting – yeh I aerate my compost like five times a day and watch my worms for like twenty minutes each morning, whatever 😉
– Being in awe of the sunlight that comes in to our bedroom, it’s actually just a dream and I don’t know how we got so lucky getting this house that we never even inspected but turned out to be perfect beyond our beliefs
– Having “serious” conversations with Malcolm. I never saw this happening but since moving in together soooo much shit has come up! Nothing serious at all but we’re definitely adjusting to living with each other. It’s mostly been the best thing ever. I knew the perfection when I grabbed him the other day to kick him in the ass while laughing so hard. THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
This afternoon our internet got turned on and Malcolm raised his head over his laptop and chuckled. I was like what mate???? And he made the observation that we’d spent the whole afternoon, minus playing ball with Bindi in the park, ignoring each other while both being on our laptops. Then we got so bad. He said “what have been become? what do we usually do every afternoon?” You know what we do? LAUGH. Talk complete shit to each other. Roleplay being backpackers in a hostel in Siberia. Make up new ways to kiss each other (just ask me about the stamp kiss or the bird kiss).
Fuck, reality hit me so hard. We’re collectively ruining relationships and having less interactions because we have internet that makes us feel like we’re more connected than ever. Excuse me while I sound like an 80 year old. I’m really just trying to aim for a life where I’m a creative individual who’s available for a coffee when my friends are sad and has soul conversations with themselves when needed. I hope this internet connection doesn’t ruin that for me.
Stay woke pals.