Three months ago I found a bulk billing doctors clinic that also bulk bills medical acupuncture. My doctor at the centre highly recommended that I try acupuncture. Yesterday I asked the acupuncturist, who is also a doctor, what the difference was between this and regular acupuncture. He said that only doctors and dentists can train to this form of acupuncture. I’m sure it’s like every other type of acupuncture but you just need to be a medical professional first.
Anyway, about two months ago I had one acupuncture session. I had another booked in for the same week but I was faaaaarrrr too tired to go and ended up cancelling it.
Two weeks ago, following a month long cleanse which left me feeling a lot better, I decided to try again. I thought that since I had more energy I could probably make myself show up twice a week to acupuncture.
At the first appointment the doctor was my files, He’s really cheeky and straight forward and he called me out on having one try and then cancelling and never coming back. I told him that I was just sooooo tired there was no possible way that I could go. He said that is the exact reason I needed to keep going. I was like m8 I completely understand but that’s the catch 22 of this illness. You need treatment but you are too tired to seek it/attend appointments/cook healthy food/smile/whatever fucking else uneducated people on facebook suggest you try. Anyway, he was very adamant that if I were to try again I had to attend twice weekly for 12 sessions. I committed myself to this.
AND I WAS IN FOR A DISASTER.
First session, Saturday – I did not notice a difference. I was already feeling quite awake. Malcolm was on night shifts so I wasn’t even really napping because he was asleep in my bed during the day. I also drove him to work at midnight one night, had 5 hours sleep, went and picked him up and then went for a walk along the river with Bindi. We then napped. Overall, I was like okay yes whatever and forgot I even had acupuncture.
Second session, Tuesday – I felt average that day. However, the next day I woke up DEAD. I take that back – I couldn’t even wake up. Malcolm had work at 1pm. It was like 10:30 am, he was laying in bed watching me sleep. Okay, this might sound creepy to those of you without CFS but I’m sure it’s a common occurrence with fellow CFS’ers. It becomes quite romantic. He’s willing to watch me sleep? What a keeper. What a romantic and beautiful gesture lmfao! So yeh, I ended up waking up purely to tell him to go home and do his own shit before work. I also asked him to feed Bindi because I knew I was so tired that I couldn’t walk down the stairs.
I slept that whole day. It was absolutely the worst I’ve felt in ages. I could hardly open my eyes. I had to forrrrccceee myself awake at 5pm to let bindi outside to play ball. I tried to play ball with her but my arms were so weak I couldn’t even throw the ball. I was also so weak that I felt like I’d collapse walking down the stairs. I can’t remember eating. It was the last of my concerns.
Another weird thing that happened, which could be quite the coincidence is that it started to burn furiously when I peed. WTF IS THIS? I am still awaiting a lot of blood test and urine test results to see if this is related to anything else but the doctor was so baffled and said there’s absolutely no reason why this could be happening.
Third session, Thursday – Thursday was the same. I just slept and between napping I stared at the wall. You know when you are so tired that you can’t even pick up a book or turn the tv on? It was like that. Today was also the day I had to get acupuncture again, FUCK ME. I was so mad. This was exactly how I’d felt that first time I’d tried acupuncture and called in to cancel because I lacked FUCKS to give about my well-being/being alive/being human. I gave myself the “this well benefit you, you just can’t see it yet” pep-talk and dragged my sorry ass to acupuncture via bus. ew, gross. Public transport is so terrible on a good day, let alone on a day when you feel like the walking dead.
The doctor asked me how I was feeling and I negatively was like “I’m soooooo tired, this is the worst.” He kept quizzing me like “Are you sure you don’t feel any better at all?” and I wanted to scream NO SATAN, but I insisted I felt like a dead person.
Okay, so apologies! I cannot actually remember how I felt or what I did. I take this to be a positive sign. I think I was just my normal levels of tired. I do remember napping on Friday actually. I remember also being weak and lacking energy to cook dinner. I forced myself to go downstairs and make so much green soup because I had to pet sit on the weekend and needed to take food with me. I was still a little worried that I would feel like shit Saturday which was the day I needed to catch two buses to the pet sitting house in the city.
However!!! Saturday I woke up feeling goooooood. I didn’t have anxiety about getting to this place because I was alive! I had a functioning brain, I could rationalise anxieties. Wtf is this feeling?? I had a joyful voice even not my usual “fuck everything, fuck the world” tired voice I sometimes catch myself embracing.
So Saturday I was staying at a luxury apartment in Kangaroo Point over-looking both the river and the Story Bridge. How euphoric. What isn’t euphoric is that I just had to google the correct spelling of this euphoric bridge.
I was tasked with looking after two cats for the evening. Easy $60, right? Yep! I had a moment of like “wow what if I can be tired forever and get $60 a night to live it uuupppp?” Malcolm came and joined me in the afternoon and I was hyperactive as fuck. We walked to the ferry (which I didn’t complain about). I actively asked him if we could go out on a date (which has probably never happened as I groan at the thought of putting clothes on). I remember dancing along the river path because no one was around (again, WTF this is not me?) I was very playful, smiling, joking, laughing. This is how I always was before CFS took my personality and left me a sarcastic little fuck.
We got home and I forced tired Malcolm to come downstairs to have a spa with me and then we spent a long time in the Sauna. It was then like 10:30 and he was sooo tired but I was still awake and talking his ear off in bed. This is called payback because this is what he goes to me until I’ve had enough and go “can you fucking shut up? google whatever you want to know, I’m too tired ps: don’t touch me I’m too tired”
Sunday was much the same levels of energy. I didn’t do anything particularly exciting but I did have to find a ferry terminal and I wasn’t even mad. I was like yay let’s enjoy this walk. It was raining and I had no jacket or umbrella and I didn’t even think my life was over and about how the world must hate me by making it rain on me haha! I was just loving life, on a high!
Fourth session, Monday – I had acupuncture at 3pm so usually I’d have to take this into consideration and do the good ol’ pre-nap. But I found myself getting carried away online. I was just randomly messaging all my friends I haven’t been social with in a long time because I’m too tired catching up with their lives. I remember again questioning “who is this?”
I didn’t nap and I went to acupuncture. The doctor again asked how I felt and I was like “yeah I can see a change.” I think I was a little pessimistic to be honest. I told him I hadn’t been napping and he said he could tell immediately that I’m becoming my alert and active through my eyes. Immediately I knew what he was talking about because my eyes are fully open – they don’t feel like they are sagging and drooping to the ground anymore. Another difference I’ve felt is that I can walk fast. Before CFS I was the world’s my speediest walker. Since I’ve been sick I walk at a snails pace and curse myself for becoming the most annoying slow walking person ever. I passionately used to hate slow walkers (I’m sorry pals).
During the treatment itself I was making conversation with the doctor. I never do this! I’m too tired. I avoid all unnecessary speaking at all costs. I was even smiling and laughing. He commented on that like wow you’ve changed so much already you are laughing. He said that he wants me to start exercising. I groaned. He said that walking really helps. Thank fuck it’s raining and I can’t put this in to practice. I’m thinking I’ll take this into consideration after six sessions. I’m probably just procrastinating though.
So that was yesterday. I woke up feeling amazing. I had an amazing sleep. I obviously have enough energy to write this massive blog and add some humour in. I’ve read a few chapters of my book and watch an episode of dance moms already. I’m on top of the world.
The only thing’s that I’ve noticed that I hate are that I AM SO FUCKING THIRSTY. MY MOUTH IS SO DRY. This is absolutely the worst feeling in the world to me. It should be a form of punishment. So I drink a million litres of water but it’s the kind of thirst that just doesn’t go away no matter the amount of water I drink. It’s at the stage where I consciously know that drinking water isn’t helpful. I’ve even tried hydralyte to no avail. For some reason my brain just went BAM YOU NEED VIT C. So maybe I’ll go out and try some vit c. I’ve heard this can be from all the toxins in your blood that acupuncture causes? No knows but I’d appreciate not being a thirsty binch anymore thanks!
Also, the burning pee issue. I’ve been to the doctor twice in regards to this and I’m supposed to go back again today for results. He told me to drink Ural. So I did what any thrifty broke gal would do and drank bi-carb soda. That was last friday and I haven’t had any burning up until today which is coincidentally the day after an acupuncture session yesterday. Is this related? If you know please comment! I’d be forever grateful.
So this post marks me being 1/3 of the way through my initial 12 sessions of acupuncture. I’ll make another post at 2/3 to update on how I’m going. I actually haven’t felt better though so I highly recommend giving it a go if you can get past that initial burnt out death phase.
Also, comment below if you’ve had acupuncture and how it went for you. I’d love to know.
Alive Codii + sleeping Bindi